Grotimnos' Absurd Hospital Adventure
by BemnalTheFallen
Summary: One day, Grotimnos is heading to the market to exchange some bits when he suddenly passes out and awakes within the Ponyville hospital; and to his horror he discovers that his nurse is... Pinkie Pie... dragon shouts, super seiyans, zombie plant, enchanted machine guns, a syringe happy Pinkie Pie and three stupid friends. What could possibly go wrong?
1. I don't even know

Grotimnos' Absurd Hospital Adventure

One day Grotimnos is heading to the market intending to exchange some bits when he suddenly passes out and awakes in the Ponville hospital; and to his horror he discovers that his substitute nurse is... Pinkie Pie... Dragon shouts, super seiyans, zombie plants, enchanted machine guns, a syringe happy Pinkie Pie and three stupid friends. What could go wrong?

I do not own My Little Pony Friendship is Magic or the OCs Grotimnos or Croth or any of Lovecraft's lore or any of the Elder Scrolls lore or DBZ or Duke Nukem nor do I have any aphiliation to them, their producers, or their benifactors. I make no money off of this work of ficiton. This story was created purely for entertainment purposes. Please support the official release.

So I wrote this story for a friend of mine who wound up in the hospital yesterday (thankfully he's OK) but ended up really bored so I decided to write a completely randome comedy skit onechapter short fic with endless refferences and idiocy; it is not meant to be taken seriously nor is it supposed to have a point or any rhyme or reason; it's just a funny random story to cheer my friend up.

****************warning!************

Zombie plants.

Spontaneous fires.

Dragon shouts.

Enchanted machine guns.

Deadly syringes.

Complete and utter stupidity.

Enjoy.

**************warning!**************

Grotimnos(Appears in Dungeons and Ponies Book 1 the Staff of Wishing)- my hospitalized friend's OC. Made by: Grotimnos.

Croth(Appears in Dungeons and Ponies Book 1 the Staff of Wishing) - my other friend's OC. made by: thepoliticalmachine

Ivory(Appears in Caught in a Bad Romance) - my OC. Made by: BemnalTheFallen

A young Unicorn stallion by the name of Grotimnos pranced through the streets of Ponyville, he had a lava red coat with an amber colored mane and tail, his strands of hair fell over his face in a style not all that unlike a certain rainbow maned Pegasus while his tail flaired out chaotically like Spitfire's.

On one of his cheeks he sported three distinct scars forming an N shape as well as a broken skull tattoo on his neck. His eye's irises were crimson in color with diamond shaped pupils in the center of each. HIs body was well built but not particularly athletic and his torso looked a bit too skinny in the midle; he had a bio hazard sign for a cutie mark and his body was also swaddled in a whit leopord skin robe with red socks -harboring the exact same color and tint of his coat- coverd up most of his legs with gold horseshoes underhoof.

Grotimnos waved hello to a few familiar faces as he trotted his way towards a coin counter booth and fished around in his robe's pocket for some spare bits to be exchanged for Gem Fragments. As he began putting them in however, he found his hoof shaking before his diamond shapped pupils whilst his vision began to blur.

"Huh..." Grotimnos didn't think much of it at the time considering how most of his Necromantic experiements left him more than a little physically impared every now and again. As such, the red stallion gave a shrug and continued exchanging coins while whistling a tune that felt oddly familiar and yet he couldn't quite place the name.

Oh well! Shurgging it off, Grotimnos began to trot away with his new currency when his kneese startted to wobble, 'oh great...' he thought bitterly as he became quite convinced that he was experiencing the aftermath of a recent experiment; "Oh well, nothing I can't ha-" he dropped to the pavement unceramoniously.

A few ponies around him gasped in shock and worry as they crowded around him. Lyra stepped forward and dipped her head low, "you OK?... dude?..." she poked him with her hoof a few times. Grotimnos didn't move.

"Uh... I think somepony should call the hospital..." one of the Earth Ponies suggested.

Derpy hopped up into the air and called out loud, "OH HOOOSPPIIITAAAALLLL!"

Most ponies looked at her in confusion while a few others face hoofed, "Derpy just... just go back to delivering mail..."

XXXXX

Grotimno's eyes slowly fluttered open as his sight was avast with blurred meshes of colors and shapes. Idly he heard a voice nearby, it was high pitched and shrill.

"umnnmnmnanmahapahmna?" Grotimnos asked.

"Careful now silly pants! You can't be talking too much yet, or getting up, or walking arouuuuund, or eaaating certain fooooods, or balancing on a roling looog, or going sky diviiiing, or-" the list went on as the bubbly voice listed item after item at record speeds leaving Grotimnos even more stunned then he already was.

At last, Grotimnos' senses finally came to and he looked over to see a bubbly jumping ball of pink fluff. "... hello?"

"HI! I'M PINKIE PIE AND I'M VOLUNTEERING FOR COMMUNITY SERVICE BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT NICE PONIES DO TO HELP OTHER PONIES OUT AND I WANNA HELP PONIES OUT TO BE A NICE PONY SO I'M HELPING OUT IN COMMUNITY SERVICE AND IT'S SO FUN CAUSE I GET TO SEE EVERYPONY I KNOW IN TOWN AND IT'S SO AWESOOOOOME!"

Grotimnos blinked, "O...K... um... so what does that have to do with you being here?"

Pinkie shoved her snout right inot Grotimnos' violating his personal space; "I'M GONNA BE YOUR NURSE!"

"...wot..." 'my life... is in Pinkie Pie's hooves?...' "GET ME OUTTA HEEEEEREEE!" Grotimnos scrambled out of the bedsheets only to fall face first into the flooring and scuttle up and about, but before he got far he was suddenly tackled by a pink apocalypse whirling around him with sheets and entraping him like a mummy before throwing him back onto the bed, "up, up, up! You can't go anywhere just yet mister! We still need to run teeeests and do injeeeectiooooons and-"

"DON'T YOU DARE INJECT ANYTHING INTO ME!" Grotimnos wouldn't trust Pinkie with a needle even if his life depended on it; who would?

"Oh silly! We don't KNOW if we need to do any injections, that's what the tests are for! Tee hee! Although I do need to draw some blood to find out what's wrong with you." Pinkie replied to the interuption.

"What?! No you don't! Can't you just to like... and MRI or CAT scan or something?!" he pleaded desperately.

Pinkie seemed to tap a hoof against her chin in contemplation, "hmmmm, nope sorry! I think whatever you have is some kinda deseasieseseses thinga majiger! So we need some of your blood to figure out what it is!"

Grotimnos attemted to scoot away rather uncecessfully due to his recent mumification before replying, "um... and how would you come to that conclusion?"

"Because silly!" Pinkie exclaimed with such suddenes that Grotimnos' body dislodged itself from the bed as he leapt into the air before landing back on the matress, "you're legs have all these holes in them like you're made out of swiss cheese or something!"

Grotimnos' face paled as the blood drained from it; he used is magic to tear the sheets apart earning a 'hay! Those cost money!' from a dissapointed Pinkie as he manically studdied his bare legs and hooves, "Where are my socks?!" he cried in hysterical panic; those very socks knitted by his mother to hide his half changeling heritage bored upon his legs as a tell tale sign.

"... Where. Are. My. Socks." he asked in a dark tone; although his grim expression was ruined by the absurdity of the question.

"Oh silly! All personal effects have to be checked out at the door, an-" "Get... oooouuuuutt..." Grotimnos snarled like a demon as the shadows of the room licked off the surfaces of the walls and floors like the tongues of a flame.

"O-oh heh.. O-Ok then, I'll just... come back la-" "now." "OKbybye!" and with that, Pinkie poofed right out the door.

Grotimnos fell onto his back groaning in annoyance and exasperation.

Well... maybe things would get better as time went on...

XXXXX

A few hours later, the door opened revealing an alabaster white Unicorn stallion with a platinum mane and tail styled identically to the musician Octavia's with a sparkling silver tongue for a cutie mark and azure blue eyes with a feminine curve to his maw rather than the usual blocky shape that most males had with the same mare-ish build that most of Rarity's family members had.

Grotimnos' spirits istantly lifted, "Ivory!"

"Hey Grotie!" the white Unicorn waved while behind him a tall red dragon with yellow spines of average length and chocolate brown eyes entered into the room; "yo groty!" he greeted.

"Hey Croth!" Grotimnos replied and soon the two guests sat down next to the bed.

"Oh I managed to get these back for you," Ivory spoke as he pulled a few things out of his saddle pack.

"My socks!" Grotimnos gave a squee as he snatched the articles of clothing and slipped them over his holey hooves; get it? Cause there's lots of holes? Oh bite me...

As they sat in the ward talking for a while, Grotimnos took notice of the large animal crate sitting alongside Ivory, "what's that?" he gestured with his snout.

Ivory looked down and picked the cage up with his magic for he dared not touch it lest he invoke the wrath of the little demon within, "this is Opalescence, my cousine's evil little Tartarus spawn pet from the lowest bowls of the abyss, I'm taking her to the vet today." A low hissed sounded from within.

"Huh." was all Grotimnos could really offer in response.

The Dragon gave a loud yawn before leaning back in his fold up chair and began to snooze off but for Ivory nudging him awake, "oh hey I just remembered something! Ok so Groty, Croth and I were arguing over whether or not Celestia is a goddess or just a powerful immortal being."

Croth groaned and rolled his eyes, "there's no evidence to support that she's a god!"

Ivory glared at the Dragon, "She raises the sun by herself! It's her cutie mark for crying out loud! Hence, the Sun Goddess!"

Croth snapped his gaze back to the Unicorn, "ya! Raises the sun! Just like Unicorns did three and a half thousand years ago, does that make them gods too?"

Ivory narrowed his eyes into a leer, "none of them did it by themselves! AND they weren't immortal!"

Croth groaned, "ya, gr, so what? Being immortal and moving the sun and moon aroun by yourself is what qualifies you to be a divine being that controls the universe?!"

Ivory felt a vein popping, "YES! In Dungeons and Ponies terms she'd be a level 50 immortal over two thousand years old! And that qualifies as a divine being! Ergo, she's a goddess." Ivory crossed his hooves and gave a 'harumph'

"D&P isn't real life Ivory!" The Dragon exclaimed.

"YOUR FACE ISN'T REAL LIFE!" Ivory shouted back shoving his maw into the Dragon's snout. Croth responded by opening his mouth and belching into Ivory's face. "GAH!" Ivory flaied his hooves around as he fell back onto the floor.

Croth laughed in a stereotypical native buffalo fashion, "haaa-ha-ha-ha-haaa-ha-ha-ha."

Ivory immedately hopped back up, "how do you know that any of this is real huh?! Maybe we're all part of a cartoon show teaching kids of some extra dimensional world about friendship!"

Croth and Grotimnos both blinked at him for a few moments, "pffff, ya right!" they all burst out laughing.

"Ah gosh... so anyway..." Ivory trailed off.

Croth sat for a few moments before responding, "Azathoth's way better than Celestia."

'And here we go again...' Grotimnos thought with a deadpan.

Ivory glared, "Azathoth is blind deaf and dumb!"

"Ya! Well he still managed to sire all of the Great Old Ones! I bet Cthulhu would obliterate her! No, you know what?! The Daedra would anihilate her! Like Molag Bal for instance."

Grotimnos face hoofed, "oh not this again..."

Ivory threw his hooves up in the air, "Molag Bal is a demon god of vampires and darkness! Celestia is the goddess of the sun, she automatically has an advantage over him!"

"OK, he's not a 'demon' god, the Daedra don't work like that, and he's the god of domination not vampires, he just so happened to create vampires. And Celestia is a peace loving pacifist hippie, Molag Bal would DE-STROY her! Then he'd bust out the torture devices and bondage equipment and -censored- all night long until she was -censored- into being a Daughter of Coldharbour!"

Ivory and Grotimnos both gawked at the blatant blasphemy they were hearing.

"ugh," Grotminos pinched the bridge of his nose, "this is why the two topics you never discuss with ponies are religion and politics."

Just then, a very loud splattering sound smacked into the nearby window causing all in the room to jump in fright, "HOLYCRAPWHATWASTHAT?!" all three exclaimed as they leapt several feet in the air; unfortunately for the tall Dragon, this resulted in his head busting through the ceiling leaving him suspened in the air as his wings and legs flailed about for a few moments screeming "Who turned out the lights?!" before me managed to pull himself out and fall onto his but with a smarting 'ow.'

All three guys looked at the window to see Derpy's face smooshed against the glass as she slowly slid down the frame with a comedic 'eeeerrrrrrk' screech from her face draging down the window.

"...Derpy?" Ivory called as he opened the window with his magic and poked his head out, "... you OK?... GAH!" he flew back onto his rump as the mailmare soared up and over him into the room at impecable speed, "hellloooooo~" she sang out in that adorable voice of hers.

"HI DERPY!" Grotimnos and Croth exclaimed as they waved their respective limbs in the air.

At last, Ivory managed to sit up and control the spinning of his eyes, "wow... I kinda feel like I got hit by a freight train... huh?" he turned to see Derpy hovering above him, "oh! Mail! Yay~"

Derpy pulled a few letters and tossed them to each of their respective recipients.

Grotimnos looked down at the envelope only to realize that he'd recieved Ivory's, looking over he noted that Croth got his and Ivory got Croth's... Derpy... oh well, it's the thought that counts. After exchanging letters, the envelopes were torn open; Ivory's was an invitiation from his sister for the Summer Sun Celebration taking place later today, oh goodie! Croth's was a letter asking him if the bakery shop could use his dragon's breath to quickly bake the food needed for the celebration and Grotimnos' well...

Ivory slunked over like a not-so-sneaky-ninja and popped his head over the edge of the bed to peer at the letter.

"Oooooooh! Somepony's got a cruuuuuush!" he teased causing Grotimnos to jump, "gah!"

Croth rose an eyebrow as he peered over, "Sweetie Belle? Isn't she kinda young for you? Like... REALLY young?"

Grotimnos' blushed, "gah! I! J-Shut up! It's just a silly puppy crush that she has that's all... it'll just blow off; maybe in ten years when she's grown up we'll meet up in a country east of Equestria on an epic quest to destroy and ancient overpowered artifact and save the world and we'll fall in love."

Both Ivory and Croth's faces went completely blank for a few akward moments.

"..."

"..."

"..."

.(Ivory)

.(Croth)

.^(Derpy)

"MUFFINS!" Derpy exclaimed causing everypony (and Dragon) to nearly have a heart attack.

"Yeeesh! Anyway..."

The room fell akwardly silent yet again.

"Hey, you know what time it is?" Ivory asked out of complete randomness.

"Adventure time?" Grotimnos offered.

"Nope! Smother Derpy with hugs time!" the Unicorn leapt into the air and wrapped his forelegs around Derpy's waist dragging her down to the ground and soon Grotimnos hopped into the pony pile followed thereby Croth who body slammed the three causing a loss of air and a rolling of bodies until the four crashed into the wall like a bowling ball.

The tangle of bodies groaned in pain.

Derpy eventually left, Grotimnos got back in bed and Croth fournd some more comfortable chairs while Ivory fed that little abomniation of a feeline called Opal and soon everypony drifted off to sleep for but a few minutes when Grotimnos shot up alert and awake screeming bloody murder.

"WOAH! Dude, chill! We're right here!" Ivory cooed as Grotimnos gasped for breath, "oh dear Celestia..." he panted, "that... was the worst nightmare ever..." he began shivering.

"Dude what happened?" Croth asked with a raised scaly brow.

Grotimnos held himself tightly, "I... Pinkie... orange... peeling of skin... *shudder*."

"What?"

"PINKIE WAS PEELING MY SKIN WITH AN ORANGE!" Grotimnos exclaimed, "not the orange peel, not a slice of an orange, BUT THE WHOLE FRUIT!"

Ivory blinked... "wot... how's that even... WHAT?!"

Croth scoffed, "I could see it happening."

Ivory snapped his gaze over to the Dragon, "not helping!"

Croth shrugged, "oh, on a random note, did you guys know that turtles can hiss? I found out the hard way yesterday..."

Ivory put on a questioning face at that but let it slide.

Minutes passed...

"Guys... you gotta get me out of here... I can't face that pink catastrophy... you have to bust me out! She's going to stick needles in me!" he grabbed Ivory by his shoulders and shook him, "Needles Ivory! Needles! Pinkie Pie plus needles equals death!"

Ivory's eyes spun around in his head for a while, "aguablblblbah..." he shook his head left and right to clear the daze, "anywya... if she draws blood you can just plymorph your blood's DNA strand to a pony's and nopony will be the wiser."

Grotimnos groand, "ya I guess..."

Minutes passed...

"Oh hey! Here's a ball to play with." Ivory tossed a rubber ball over to Grotimnos who began to toss it at the wall bouncing it off the ground and catching it over and over... until he began missing a few beats resulting in the ball smacking him in the face or whacking Ivory or Croth in the head, "geeze, this is a lot harder than it looks..."

Eventually, Grotimnos got so frustrated that he rocketed the ball with his magic at the wall resulting in it bouncing off at high speed and crashing through the window, "ooops..."

A few seconds passed when AJ's head popped in holding up the ball, "which one 'a yall threw this here ball in my apple stand?!"

In but an instant, Grotimnos, Ivory, and Croth each pointed at one another.

Right, so a buck to the chest from AJ hurts... a lot...

A while later, Croth was pondering philosophies and Ivory was napping while Grotimnos gazed blankly at the ceiling; wasn't Pinkie supposed to come back soon? Ugh! Boredome!...

Grotimnos looked over to a dead wilted plant beside his bed, "... I wonder..." technically Necromancy was intended for ponies and maybe a few animals but... well, it's not like he has anything better to do..."

Summoning his death magic, the Necromancer spoke a little incantation and soon the plant twitched left and right before it... growled...

"Ugh... guys..."

The petals curled and twisted into teeth as the necter began to drool from the shrivvled up plant.

"Uhhhh, guuuuuyyyyss!"

The vines extended from the soil and began wreathing around angrily.

"GUUUUYYSSS!" Grotimnos screemed as the plant launched itself at him, entangling it's vines around his neck as it's yellow petal teeth snapped at his face, "GAH! GETITOFGETITOFGETITOFGETITOFGETITOFGETITOF!" The plant gurgled in respones, "glrglglglgrrrphlglgl!"

Ivory freaked, "what the buck is that?!"

Croth jumped, "Geeze! I knew it! The conspiricy was right! Plants are finally rising up against the ponies! The end is nigh!"

Ivory tried to use his magic to yank the zombie plant off only to have the monstrosity latch onto his own face, "ACK! GROTIMNOS! WHAT UNHOLY ABOMINATION HAVE YOU CREATED?!"

"I DON'T KNOW I WASN'T THINKING!"

"IT'S GONNA EAT ME!" Ivory flailed his hooves around as he fell to the floor rolling left and right.

"I'll help!" Croth exclaimed as he grabbed the plant's petal mouth of death and began thrashing it (and Ivory) around in the air, slammed it (and Ivory) into the wall, and spun it (and Ivory) around in the air before launching it at the wall which Ivory slid down not all that unlike Derpy had on the window earlier.

Grotimnos popped his head up, "CROTH! STOP HELPING!"

The dragon didn't listen as he inhaled sharply causing both Unicorn's eyes to widen, "WHAT ARE YOU DOING YOU IDIOT?!"

"ah'm a firin' mah lazer!" Croth responded before unleashing a mighty, "FUS RO DAH!" sending Ivory flying through the wall, "WRONG DRAGON BREATH you idi_oooooooooo...*twing*_" Ivory dissappeared with a twinkle in the sky.

"CROTH! You just sent Ivory flying into the atmosphere like a Skyrim Giant!"

"oops..."

Grotimnos quickly teleported Ivory back to the ground who was screeming bloody murder.

"I'm suprised nopony's come in her to yell at us for the noise..." Grotimnos said thoughtfully as Croth stepped over to Ivory who was still being assulted by the zombie plant

Croth walked over to the panicked Unicorn, "OK, I think I got it this time-" "NO! STOP HELPING!" Ivory exclaimed as he shoved his zombie plant covered face into Croth's. At which point, the zombie plant swtiched hosts and splattered its oily slime covered vines all over Croth's head, "GAH!"

The Dragon swung his arms around as his wings flapped chaotically and fire shot out of his mouth at random intervals lighting much of the hospital room up in a blaze.

"CROOOOTH!" Ivory and Grotimnos exclaimed in unison.

At some point during this chaos, Opalesence managed to escape from her caged prison. This is important, remember it.

Croth fianlly wrenched the abomination from his face and threw it through the air, "auglglglglrlgrlgrlgrlm!" it cried as it landed on Grotimnos' face, "NOT AGAIN!" just as Grotimnos got it of and hurled it accross the room, it hit Ivory in the face, "gah!" Things continued like that for a while as the fire began to spread until the plant ended up on the hospital bed whereupon the two ponies and Dragon leapt out of the window.

The zombie plant was about to give chase when a peble struck the back of its head, it turned to see Opal (I told you it was important) standing in a Seiyan fighter's GI on two legs holding one paw forward with a challenging look on her face.

Croth blinked, "wot..."

Ivory's mouth hung open, "I knew it! She IS an alien!"

The zombie plant glared before charging at the new foe and the two engaged in a high speed martial arts battle.

The battle raged on as Opal instant transmisioned around the zombie before kicking it towards the wall only to teleport on the other side on stop it with one furry paw and then proceeded to unleashe Goku's multi hit combo and launching it over towards the wall.

The zombie plant splattered against the wall, but it peeled itself off and transformed into it's second form! Now a giant octopus plant...zombie...flower...thingy lashed it's vine tendrils around the room as Opal struggled to dodge, she was quickly running out of her ki reserves when suddenly a tentical slammed her into a wall, she fell limply to the ground.

But it's OK! She had a Peonix Down!

Opal rose from the ashes good as new and as we all know, when a Seitan falls from battle but survives it, they come back twice as strong!

BOOOOM! Opal went Super Seiyan! Her fur flaired yellow as she levitated into the air and waved her adorable paws around as she summoned up the camehameha wave.

But the zombie plant monster thingy ate a Rarce Candy and gained enough experience to use Solar Beam!

The two blasts matched eachother evenly in the middle of the burning room.

Croth stood up and waved his draconic hands around, "Gah! Ack! Chk! WHAT! Come on! This isn't even MLP anymore!"

Ivory and Grotimnos both turned around to shush him before returning to the fight seen as they grabbed some more pop corn.

At last, Opal's mighty ki blast overpowered the monster and fried his -censored- to a crisp.

The smoke detectors finally went off and rained down soothing water upon the flames, when the resulting smoke cleared, Opal was lying on her stomach curled up as per usual with the Seiyan vest gone and yawning as if nothing had happened.

Ivory and Grotimnos both clapped their hooves while Croth just groaned and face palmed, "I need sugar..." he grumbled before walking away.

Ivory stood up, "oh ya, I should probably get Opal to the vet now, I guess we'll stop by later today."

Grotimnos clambered back into the charred room as his friends left and hopped into the tattered remains of the ruined bed when his Doctor finally stepped in, "alright then mr. Grot-SWEET CELESTIA! WHAT THE ‑censored- HAPPENED IN HERE?!"

Grotimnos blinked a few times before looking around the room and accessing the chaotic damage and responded with, "hmm... Smooze cultists." he said with a sagely nod.

XXXXX

Grotimnos had been transfered to a new room and was atempting to throw that accursed ball at the wall again when Pinkie Pie finally entered... and with a needle...

"Well there you are mr. hard-to-find-silly-sock-wearing-guy!" She chirped pleasantly before bouncing (litterally) over to the side of Grotimnos' bed. The Unicorn swallowed hard as the deadly syringe was brought towards his arm, "well, here we go! Just think about something fun or happy, just don't think about the five inch needle about to impail your skin and drain copious amounts of blood from your veins, tee hee!"

Grotimnos felt like dying at that moment, his body shook which probably wasn't good considering he was about to be jabbed with a sharp-and-potentially-lethal object.

The Necromancer swallowed hard before closing his eyes, "just... do it fast... like a band aid."

"Okie dokie lokie!"

...

"Um... Pinkie? Aren't you gonna... you know...?" Grotimnos looked up to see pinkie holding the syringe with the needle poking through his sock, likely going inbetween one of the many holes; this predicament caused the half changeling to facehoof.

Pinkie gave a confused looke before a lightbulb lit above her head, "oh right! I forgot you've got swis cheese legs! What a silly filly I am *giggle*" she held up the needle, "I'll just have to draw blood from somewhere else!" she exclaimed with a terrifying smile.

'Guuuuys! Come back and saaaave meeee!' Grotimnos cried out in his head as Pinkie -without warning- stuck the needle plunging into his shoulder... right into the bone..

"YYYEEEEOOOOOWWW!" Grotimnos jumped in the air cuasing the needle to break from the syringe lodging the sharp metal inside his flesh.

"Oopsies! Clumbsy me! Just hold still while I get that out." Pinkie began gathering a bunch of pliers, tongs, medical saws, scalpals, and various other surgical tools causing Grotimnos to freak the -censored- out as he attempted to leap for the door, "STAY AWAY FROM ME YOU MANIAC!"

But Pinkie Pie quickly restrained him with surgical tubes as improvisional ropes only adding to the poor Unicorn's panick.

Pinkie resumed her attainment of surgical items when to Grotimnos' absoloute and utter terror, she pulled out an orange... a whole orange...

Something inside Grotimnos snapped; he screemed at the top of his lungs as he thrashed around using his magic to sever the cords and launch Pinkie into a wall before charging out of the room at high speeds.

Without even thinking, he summoned up his bone armor to increase his strength and speed as he charged through the hospital smashing through Doctors, Nurses, and Orderlies as he did so, "-Censored- this! I'm making a -censored- break for it!"

As he charged through the hallways, he found himself busting throug dressing room and getting tangled up in a black cloth before falling through a door way into another patient's room.

"Now ms. Smith, I'm sorry to say that you're going to need your hip replac- what the buck?!" Nurse Red Heart shouted as Grotimnos came tumbling into the room in a mass of necromantic armor and black swaddled cloth.

Granny Smith's eyes bulged out of her sockets at the sight, "NO! Ah'm too young tah die!"

Grotimnos shook his head as he stood up, "what?" then he looked down at himself... covered in thick skelaton plate armor with a demonic skull over his face and wearing a.. black robe... and he barged into a very very old ponie's... room... in a hospit... oh gawrd...

"Uh, th-this isn't what it looks like!" Grotimnos pleaded as the old Earth Pony scrambled towards the corner of the room.

"Ah dun' care if it's mah time! Ah'm not goin' without a fight!" and with that, the farm pony began hurling object after object at Grotimnos' head, "ow! Hey! Stop that! Ow! Cut it out you crazy lady!" the stallion stumbled back out the door into a trolly being pushed through the hallway causing him to become entangled with the many dishes and platters only to shriek when Pinki Pie popped out of one of the metalic bowls like a dimension jumping apocalypse, "found you! It's not really nice to throw ponies into walls you know, if you were uncomfortable you could have just said so- hey why are you running away like you life depends on it?!"

Grotimnos high tailed it around every corner he saw, not once pausing to see if that pink bouncy ball of death was on his rear hooves or not, all's he could do was RUN!

BAM!

Hey, here's a little bit of free wisdome for you, CRASHING THROUGH A DOOR HURTS!

Grotimnos groaned as he stood up, but his ears twitched shooting his senses back into full swing as he heard Pinkie Pie rounding about; he quickly looked around and noticed the set of dead plants surrounding him from all the other patient rooms.

"... you know what you have to do..." Grotimnos said more to himself than anypony else.

Pinkie Pie finally appeared infront of the broken door just in time to see necromantic plants hopping out of their pots and unto the hospital's tiled floor while Grotimnos turned around with an eye twitching in psychotic panic, he held out a hoof pointing towards Pinkie and screemed as loud as he could the following words, "ZOMBIE PLANTS! AAAATTTAAAAAAAAACCCK!"

Pinkie's pupils dilated inot pinpricks as the deadly undead plants of deathly doom scampered towards her, hungry for pony flesh.

"EEEK!" the pink mare sprinted off in the other direction whilst Grotimnos let out an evil cackling laugh, he'd finally lossed his marbles.

XXXXX

Ivory and Croth were marching through the halls searching for their friend and marveling at how panicked everypony seemed, "huh.. I wonder what happened while we were gone?"

Croth shrugged, "dunno, I wouldn't worry too much about it, how much could could Groty have screwed things up while we were gone?"

Suddenly, a rumbling filled the hallway as an army of zombie planted marched along the floors, walls, and ceilings leaving Ivory and croth standing with their mouths agape.

Grotimnos teleported infront of them with his mane disheveled, his pupils dilated and pulsating, and his breath ragged, he looked like a mental patient; "guys! Oh thank Celestia I missed you guys!" Grotimnos clamped his forehooves around them in a vice grip.

"Dude! We were only gone for like, five minutes! What the buck happened?!" Grotimnos shook his head, "no time to explain, just run! I've lost control of them!"

The three ponies charged as fast as their hoooves/feet would carry them until they entered a dead end.

"WHAT?! Who put's a dead end in a hospital?!" Grotimnos cried.

Croth turned towards Ivory with a glare, "I can think of somepony who'd write somethng like that!"

Ivory gave an innocent smile when a nearby door was opened up by two security ponies hauling a giant chain gun, "well, this is the last of them; geeze, what kind of an idiot would commision these for basic security gurads?!"

The other guard shrugged, "dunno, but at least they're all rounded up, hopefully we can get them shipped out of here by tomorrow."

"Ya, what the hay would a hospital ever need enchanted guns for?"

Just then, the army of zombie plants wriggled down the hallway towards them chanting, "victory will be ours."

"GET THE GUNS, THEY'RE OUR ONLY HOPE!"

Croth put on a serious expression as he grabbed the two ponies and through them aside as he picked up the giant chain gun and turned around with a set of sun glasses on which he seemingly procured from nowhere and yelled out at the top of his lungs, "FOOOOOOUUUURRR!" a heavy metal guitar began repeating a steam punk tune in the background as Croth unloaded round after round after round of the chain gun's magic bullets into the zombie plants.

Croth bobbed his head up and down to the beat of the guitar as the abominations were shredded to peices.

Ivory gaped, "WHAT IS GOING ON!"

Grotimnos responded with his own exclamation, "I DON'T EVEN KNOW ANYMORE!"

Numbers on the side of the gun ran down like rain.

When the gun's bullets ran dry, Croth tossed the device to the side and inhaled deeply, "FUS RO DAH!" the resounding shockwave shredded the remaining plants to sticky pieces coallescing with the victims of the chain gun holding the end result of a hallway covered in green goo.

Ivory and Grotimnos popped their heads out from behind the dragon. Ivory let out a whistle, "wow, serious Croth..."

Croth held his hands out to his sides, "hail to the king baby!"

One of the guards managed to find his voice, "w-was that really necessary?!" he exclaimed incredulously.

Croth turned to him blinking, "... Duke Nukem logic. When in doubt, blow -censored- up."

At last, the hospital's head Doctor's along with Nurse Red Heart arrived on seen; they pointed hooves at Ivory and Croth, "YOU TWO! Get. Out." the two quickly scampered off towards the emergency exit.

The Doctor then looked towards Grotimnos, "and as for YOU! Orderlies! Restrain him!"

The Necromancer stuggled as strong Earth Ponies tied him down in a straight jacked and locked an anti magic ring around his horn before dragging him off.

"And somepony get a hold of Pinkie!" The Doctor shouted.

"Here I am!" the pink bubbly mare of doom replied as she hopped out of a doctor's lab coat pocket throwing him off balance before hopping up with glee.

"Go get a syringe, we're going through this stallion's full diagnosis and getting him out of here ASAP! The sooner these idiots are off this property the better."

Pinkie Pie gave a soldier's salute before pulling out a syringe from nowhere... a much larger one than the previous to boot.

Grotimnos' eyes bulged at the sight and began struggling against his restraints, "KEEP HER AWAY FROM ME! LET ME OUTTA HERE! HEEEEELLLLPPPP!"

XXXXX

A few hours later, Grotimnos was tossed outside of the hospital doors after having a full diagnostics run on him as well as five blood draws (pinkie kept missing the vein and had to stab him again... repeatedly...)

Grotimnos looked like he'd been throguh Tartarus and back, his two friends were waiting outside and helped him up to his hooves.

"I... hate... hospitals..." he seethed through clenched teeth.

Ivory gave a harty laugh, "well that's good cause none of us are allowed to legally step within ten yards of this building ever again! Heh... heh... hehhhhh... ya... that's kinda depressing that we got into that much trouble in a single day... but hey! At least now we can go to the Summer Sun's Celebration! That'll be fun right? Good food, drinks, dancing; it'll be a nice relaxing break from all this insanity."

Grotimnos resinged to sighing with a small smile, "ya I guess you're right..."

Suddenly, a blue pony box appeared next to them with a series of whirls and a dong as it fully materialized, a brown Earth Pony stallion popped his head out, "you three! I need your help for a drastically important m-"

"NO!" Grotimnos roared like a lion, "NO! NONONONONONONONONONONONO! NO MORE ADVENTURES! NO MORE CRAZY -censored- NO MORE FOURTH WALL BREAKING, NOTHING! I'M SICK OF IT! I JUST WANT A NORMAL -censored- DAY!" he panted hysterically.

The Doctor blinked somewhat taken aback, "well, fine... be that way." and with that, he retreated back into the TARDIS which then phased in and out of existance until it dissapeared completely.

Croth blinked and then shrugged "... wouldn't be the wierdest thing that's happened today."

Grotimnos sighed and Ivory shook his head, "well, at least it's all over right? And besides, things weren't THAT bad, I mean, it's not like Nightmare Moon returned or anything."

The three of them laughed at that, "ya, I guess it's not so bad... well, time for a nice fun nothing-can-go-wrong festival." Grotimnos replied putting his best hoof forward.

And with that, the trio headed off towards the Summer Sun Celebration.

THE END!


	2. I guess I wasn't done yet lol

Grotimnos, Ivory, and Croth all sat around the now ruined Summer Sun central celebration anechamber as ponies chaotically fretted about what to do now that eternal night would forever reign.

"Huh... whaddaya know?... Nightmare Moon DID return..." Grotimnos said with a neutral expression as a veing throbbed in his forehead.

Ivory inhald through his nose and peered up at the sky, "yep... oh hey, did they ever figure out what was wrong with you?"

Grotimnos blinked, "wha? OH right! Ya, turns out I was just dehydrated."

Croth's eye twitched... then he face palmed, "all of this over... dehy... son of a -"

The End! (for real this time -.^)


End file.
